Making myself

This is what I’m reminding myself of…

‎”We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”

Easier said than done, right now.

I went to the gym where we’re staying and was hoping to get a good cardio workout in. Instead I felt exhausted (for no apparent reason), weak, and my hip hurt.

So instead of making myself miserable with a spin that felt like crap on the bike, I decided to foam roll and call it a day. I did a med ball workout that made me feel absolutely so weak and I wish I could say I was invigorated and challenged to get back into shape, but this feeling out of shape is new for me. I had thoughts like “it’s your fault for letting yourself go” and “why haven’t you been doing weights every day for the last month–you’re just wasting your time” and “you’re lazy” but that’s all bull shit, ya know? Cuz I have been keeping up with things — swimming, taking time for myself. I read this post about the emotions around an injury on Healthy Tipping Point after I got back and showered and had a good cry about this all.

I’m trying to reframe: I’m with my family. I can take time and read. I can relax. I will be able to run again. I’m just realizing how much of a part of me training is. And how much I miss it. I cannot wait to get going again! But if I rush it, I’m going to end up off for longer and more miserable. I am glad for the experience–I think I’ve realized more about myself in the last month than I have in ages. The time to think, the perspective, the frustrations–they’re all part of bigger lessons!

Last night was good, btw. We had some good dinner (margaritas on the rocks included–but I couldn’t drink most of mine) and I swear this is the proof that everything is bigger in Texas! I couldn’t finish my meal–in fact it hardly looked like there was a dent in it. I blame it on the oyster appetizers we shared and on the salad I filled up on first. I ordered pasta with arugula, red sauce, and shrimp/mussels/crab meat. I’m taking out the whole sea. Eeeeek. Good thing I’m EASING into vegetarianism. I had room for a bit of Godiva when we got home, and then I slept like a baby.

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This morning was a repeat breakfast.

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And now I’m just waiting for UBC to call me for an interview with their J school. Seems a little pointless, since my life plan has taken a 180 (more on that later)–you’ll all hear about it soon enough. The new blog is getting closer and closer to being ready for it’s reveal. Who’s excited?!

We are off to the aquarium and a few other fun things today–indoor cuz it’s foggy and the weather is a bit yucky here today. Stay tuned! :)

Any advice for my silly injury?
What’s your fav kind of sea food?

 

2 responses to “Making myself

  1. OMG that pasta looks incredible. Italian food is my absolute favorite…gahhhh. and seafood is obvs a must (are you keeping seafood and going more “pescatarian”?) for me – I love grilled shrimp, breaded tilapia, I had seared swordfish in Sicily that was probably one of the best meals of my life….nomm. And yeah….bleh sorry about the gym again….It might just be one of those days where things hurt more than others ya know? And I know exactly how you feel – I can only imagine how out-of-shape I feel, since I can’t even really do much ab work with my hip flexors being weird! And obviously like no pushing the pace or time on the cardio…gah. But you’re absolutely right. These things CAN’T be rushed. If elites like Kara Goucher and Lauren Fleshman can take months off of any and all workouts, and if THEY sometimes gain a lot of weight during injuries, well, I’d say we’re doing okay ya know? My coach told me the other day that sometimes your body just isn’t on the same page as your mind, and things might take longer than you think. Sometimes it helps to check out and focus on other things – like your family and school and the new blog that I can’t WAIT to see!!! There will be setbacks, but you’re moving in the right direction. Just keep being hopeful, optimistic, and balanced :)

  2. Hey Cheryl!
    I just want to let you know that I read your blog lots and I really enjoy it. You are such a great writer and I can feel your passion in all of your posts.
    I know it must be extremely hard for you right now in terms of your injury and craving to get back to training, but your hip WILL get better and you are doing amazing in terms of keeping up with your fitness, etc. I know very few people who would get up early in the morning and swim like you. Be proud of yourself for going to physio, foam rolling, cross training, etc. Everything in life happens for a reason and I have faith that you will be back to running in no time. Set backs are meant for us to learn something, and this injury will teach you alot about your own strength, determination, and resilience. In the big picture of life, this will only end up being a small part of your life…remember “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” Hang in there girl! xx

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